Do any of you have a need for 68 CD-ROM drives?

How about 40 or so 3.5″ floppy drives?

28 modem cards? No? Damn.

My poor basement has found itself for the last few months to be the repository of a massive amount of computer equipment as I have gathered it from all corners of the globe, dumped it there, and promptly ignored it while life flew by me in a fit of fury. Two and a half tables of computer parts from the old Hampton Middle School, plus a load of computers from my day job, plus other random parts — all in jumbled piles in the middle room, barely enough space left to sashay by.

Now that my schedule has somewhat cleared up (not by my choosing) and with the Little One on the way, I decided it was high time to really attack the pile and thrash it into submission.

One of the big problems with collecting masses of computers is what to do with all of them. I got them all because the price was right, and parts are parts — they’re always good to have around. It has also been my experience that, unless you have great contacts and/or unlimited amounts of money, for computer collectors to find true treasures, you have to take a lot of trash, too.

And so, I’m left to dig through mountains of computers, monitors, keyboards, mice, cards, accessories, printers, and the like. You also can no longer throw anything with circuit boards or CRTs (picture tubes) in the trash; they figured out that the chemicals in them (like lead and mercury) aren’t terribly friendly to the environment and it gives Mother Nature a rash that, frankly, you don’t want the old girl to have.

The downside to that is that disposal of said nefarious objects usually costs a pretty fair cent at the dump, on the order of $13 per monitor and various other prices for other things. Unless they come with a hidden Benjamin in the disk drive, these things aren’t exactly money-makers.

So, I’m trying an experiment: I’m breaking down all the parts I want to get rid of into plastic, metal, and electronics. The metal I’m going to have my dad haul up to the metal recyclers, the plastic will go in the trash, and the electronics (now much smaller and compact than they were before) will be stockpiled until I find a good way to get rid of them without spending a billion dollars. It will, at any rate, give me much more room.

Some of this stuff will be eBayed, as is proper when there’s some value, but I’m building up a good stockpile first before starting into that as, once you do, it’s a constant workload to get done and shipped and out the door. eBay can be profitable but, like whoring, you have to strap on the fishnets and slap the stilettos up and down the street a few times before getting any cash.

Despite all the work involved, I am having some decent fun in finding out what I all got in my hauls. Half of taking on a haul is just shoving whatever boxes and cartons of stuff you have into your car, thanking the person you got them from, and getting the hell out of there. Much like The Gambler, you never count your money while you’re sitting at the table, there’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealin’s done.

So I have a few interesting pieces in the mess to drool over when I get some spare time (I’ll post pictures sometime sooner than later), but my mission is not to sit and fondle at this point, it’s to get the job done.

And doing it I am — I’m getting rid of a lot of the regular old PCs that I’ve been keeping over the years, finally realizing that although that 386 looks neat and has some interesting, old hardware in it, in reality it’s just an old, common computer and isn’t that remarkable. Much like the rock that looked really pretty when you saw it in the stream, once dried out it loses its luster. I’m making room for the REALLY interesting computers for once.

This is, of course, all an effort to get the swell under control before the Small Kicker arrives, so when I have some limited time to “play”, I can actually do something instead of wading through piles of parts and dangerously-leaning stacks of crap. I’d like to keep a bouncy seat down there, too, so the ankle biter can come along and geek out with Dad, but I’m not about to submit the fruit of my loins to possible injury by the Leaning Tower of PCs.

All in all, I’m getting some time into my computer room(s) and my collection, so I’m happy about that, and my wife is happy at the idea of being able to see all four walls again in those rooms. (Love you, babe!) After all, if diving into your collection doesn’t involve a little adventure, what’s the point, right?

Now….can I interest you in a few dozen power cables?