One of the suggestions I received was to write a bit about what I think in regard to Australian politics.

I am here to officially announce that I have no freaking clue.

But, in true Internet blogging fashion, I’ll happily open up my mouth and resemble the south end of a horse facing north in talking about something I have no knowledge of, if nothing else, to the amusement of my Australian compatriots.

I know that Australians once “lost” a prime minister by, supposedly, drowning, although it’s really hard to say given the country’s penchant for overly-poisonous animals that enjoy human a la stick.

I know that John Howard has mostly been a lapdog of the Bush administration and, despite most Australians I know thinking that Bush is nuttier than a squirrel pantry, the government still seems to back most things the US is doing in the world.

I know that they have a Labor party that does very little baby-squirting but has a lot of people involved with it that do things like dig rock out of caves in the ground. They also have a Liberal party which, contrary to popular belief, is actually conservative. Leave it up to Aussies to figure that one out.

I also know that Australian Parliament, much like the English equivalent, is a much more relaxed legislative body than any of the ones in the United States. Watching Congress on C-SPAN here in the U.S. is a great anti-insomnia therapy, but catching a session of Aussie or English Parliament is somewhat like watching a celebrity roast but using nice words. More than once has a news story come out about some politician or another calling another one a jackass or similar.

Or, as you can see in this clip on YouTube, a slip of the tongue may very well set back the entire legislative process while everyone quits rolling on the floor. Everyone in the world knows the Aussies are more relaxed than most, and this most definitely doesn’t depart from that notion.

I think that the Australian policy of compulsory voting is both wonderful and idiotic in the same glance. Living in a country where the “voting public” is usually a measly 35 to 40% of qualified individuals, its heartening to think that everyone in Oz is getting out and voicing their opinion.

However, requiring people to vote means you will end up with a vast majority of folks simply trying to “get it out of the way” and not giving a wet slap what they mark on the ballot, just as long as they get it done and nobody hauls them in for not doing so. This, I imagine, would mean that media exposure and making your name a household word works even better in Australia than in the U.S. — if you are looking at a ballot and you’ve heard of the one guy but not the other, who are you going to vote for? Not that this doesn’t happen in the U.S.; I fully expect McCain, Giuliani, Clinton, and Obama to receive a bunch of their votes simply due to exposure and not because of merit. But I’d imagine that there are a fair whack of people that simply don’t vote in the USA that, if they were forced to, would add to this pool, further diluting it.

Perhaps Aussies are just more astute.

I am trying to think if I know of any particular points of interest in Australian politics that I’d care to comment on, but when I’m still trying to figure out cultural differences (although I’ve come a long way), historical and cultural references (many of these still elude me), and attitudes, Australian Politics takes a pretty far back seat in the theatre of my mind (and is probably having a good time making out with Aussie Economics). That being said, even from my very limited exposure to anything, I have a few comments to make about things that Aussie politicians should perhaps concentrate on:

• Technology – Always a big one, and one close to my heart. Although Aussies have come a very, very long way in technology and in many ways have exceeded the US, it is something that politicians should keep at the forefront of their minds and their policies if they want Australia to continue to grow and expand in the world. Oz is a long freaking distance away from — well, most anything — but technology can and will close that gap and make it viable to conduct business from or to Australia without a huge expenditure. (plus, if it keeps expanding, I have job opportunities. yay!)
• Regulation - This comes on the heels of Technology and relates a lot to Australian telecoms (Hello, Telstra?) and similar businesses that, in the past, pretty much seemed to squelch any sort of competitive behavior. Not that the FCC or similar policymakers here in the US have done a perfect job, but on the whole we’ve recognized that a little correct regulation of monopolistic behaviors and corrections for the market promote expansion, competition, and innovation. There is a gigantic startup cost to almost any physical infrastructure in Australia, given the geography and population distribution, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that any one business has the right to disallow competitive behavior, especially when the economy could really use it. Plus, they’re going to have to start, like the US is, taking a look at VoIP and its impact on services in the country.
• Immigration – Actually, given the US’s procedure for immigration, the Australian equivalent is a walk in a park. I think the “points” system is brilliant. I just want politicians to keep this subject in their heads so it gets evaluated regularly and as many good, beneficial opportunities as possible are kept open for people willing to make the jump and live there.

Past these three things, I really can’t comment on other aspects. I’m not up on the Australian economy, I don’t know what civil rights are being debated, I’m unsure of the tax or social welfare issues at hand, and I haven’t kept up much on the national healthcare initiatives. I’m pretty sorely uneducated on most of it, as you can tell. If I move there, I’m going to be doing a LOT of reading and watching of news programs to catch up.

Anywho….this is my general, foot-in-mouth, completely unjustified look at Australian politics from the viewpoint of an almost complete outsider. If nothing else, if you are an American, I hope you learned something — if you are an Aussie, I hope you had a good laugh.