0. Get Yolanda a couple of pregnancy massages. The hospital in Mason City does them pretty cheaply (I ordered them for Randi Snyder when she and Kris lived in Hanlontown)… I want to say they were $20 or $30 an hour, a price that would cause a stampede in Los Angeles where such things easily top $100 an hour.

1. Childbirth classes (and pregnancy books) are generally helpful for first-time parents, but tend to be run (or published) by people with an agenda to push, whether it be the Nat’l Endowment for the Advancement of Doulas (“Well, it’s nice to have dad in the birthing room but he’s just a MAN after all”), the La Leche League freaks (“Oh, you’re bottle feeding? There goes Harvard”), the anti-epidural fascists (“YOU MUST FEEL THE SEARING PAIN OF FLESH RIPPING FROM YOUR OWN FLESH OR YOUR BABY WILL DIE OF STARVATION OMGWTFBBQ”) and the placenta morons (“it’s really good with teriyaki!” — I swear to $DEITY I’m not making this up)

Be aware that the support requirements once the product goes into final release are pretty onerous… but absolutely, unquestionably worth it. (I write this as our 83-hour-old cherub is chowing down in the other room.)