AUTHOR’S NOTE: The following snippet was posted as an email to a listserv that I participate in. I decided that, because I was in good humor and form for writing, that I would respond with my personal philosophy about it. It turned into a bit of a writeup that I felt worthy of a blog posting, so here it is.
THE QUESTION: Also, can anyone explain WHY you’d want children to begin with? This has always blown my mind. Seems to me to be the number one counter-productive thing a person can do to themselves.
The way I see it is this:
There are many things that humans can do, being human. Learning, living, exploring, discovering, enjoying, creating, destroying — all aspects of being human. They are things that we, as a species, are able to do. Many of these we have uniquely apart from other species of animals. Some we share.
Certainly one of the aspects of being human that we share with other animals is the ability to have offspring. It’s something that all species share that, you could even argue, is one of the main points of life — to continue life by propogation. Life would, as we know it, cease to exist should organisms not reproduce.
The unique ability that we have, however, is the conscious ability to control and manipulate if, how, and when we propogate ourselves. Few species have the control we exercise over having kids.
To that effect, at some point in our lives, we all make a choice of whether or not to have children. Yes, even the 14 yo who has sex and gets knocked up accidentally made a choice to chance the idea of having kids. So, what should drive that choice and how should we decide?
Clearly, someone has to reproduce. In fact, more than a few someones have to reproduce, because as a species, we will only continue with “fresh” replacements for the dying generation. While some clearly are hellbent to end our existence as a species I, for one, like the idea of us continuing.
There will almost always be a plethora of “accidental” babies being created due to irresponsible and/or reckless people boinking and not thinking about it. So that covers a goodly portion of the reproduction. However, there is also a need for responsible, educated, healthy, sympathetic and good people to reproduce so as to advance our species or at least maintain a status quo without falling into a world of eternal trailer trash.
In light of all this, I view myself as an intelligent, kind, responsible, healthy, and sympathetic adult who has not only the ability to contribute to this world reproduced individuals that will better it and contribute to society, but also as a man who has great affection and urges to become a parent and to love and raise children in the way I deem best and wisest.
Thus, I aspire to have children some day.
For others, this may not be the choice based on several factors. Perhaps they are unhealthy or would otherwise pass on bad genetics and therefore produce children that would only struggle through life. Or, perhaps, they feel they do not have the proper abilities, patience, and determination to raise children both in the sense of simply raising them, but also in the aspect of teaching and instructing and molding them in a way that is wise, good, and productive. Given the state of today’s world, that can often be a very arduous task indeed. Or, perhaps simply, they do not WANT children and feel no need to have them.
For all of these people that choose to not have children, I applaud you. There are many in the world that should not have children that do, and many that should that cannot. For those that can and chose not to for whatever your reasons are, I am eternally thankful and glad. I would always prefer to have children produced by those that are not only healthy and intelligent and good, but especially by those that desire to be parents. Far too many people are unwilling parents and that contributes nothing to the mean mass of people. I do not think that, if you have chosen to not be a parent, that you should be viewed as any less human or contributing to society. Just as we are not all professional singers (and in cases of my father, that’s a very Good Thing(tm), bless his heart), we do not all have to parents simply to embrace humanity.
To those of you who ARE parents, congratulations and three cheers for all efforts you expend to raise your children as good and productive members of society. It’s a struggle that I have not yet had to deal with but hope to someday engage in with all fervor; I have no doubt I have no idea as to what I’m getting myself into. I implore all parents to constantly love and support their children as they someday will inherit all that we know as reality and I want to make sure that my world isn’t screwed up. 
