We rarely think about such mundane fixtures in our homes such as toilets, but on occasion they remind us just how important they are — or how nasty they can be. It was such a situation that we found ourselves in this past weekend when our upstairs butt-throne decided to leak and cause it to piss down rain into our kitchen, soaking a cupboard full of dishes, a rack of spices, and leaving many copious puddles on the countertops. Luckily (if you can call it that), the water was from the tank, not the bowl, so at least it wasn’t a shower of sewage.
Nonetheless, it was incredibly unpleasant to clean up. Many brave towels gave their lives in the war. The upstairs toilet had been acting up for a long time, having a disturbing trend of sinking slowly into the floor and resembling the leaning tower of Pisa minus the gawking tourists. We knew the time was coming quickly when we would have to do something about it (or deal with shooting columns of liquipoop), but this sealed the deal — we had to do something. The house had a royal flush and we were holding a pair of nines. Time to be handy.
So, at 5:30pm on Friday night I dug into the task of removing the offending appliance and seeing what I was up against. Removing the toilet presented a huge amount of rotted floor below it, which explained the problem of the leaning latrine, but didn’t exactly help my confidence in solving the problem.
To my rescue came my father, Wayne, who graciously dropped whatever he was going to do that evening and came over with his tools to help me figure out the best way to redo the flooring since it had rotten out all around the base of the toilet. After a few hours of fiddling and fitting, we had a new floor in place. At 8:30pm we took off for Mason City and Menards and, after looking at all the options and pricing privies that were out-of-stock (grrr…), we settled on an Eljer Titan elongated. It has a 10+ rating on flushability (one-flush solves all), 1.6 gallons per flush (eco-friendly), a 16 1/8″ seat height (ADA-approved), and a 3″ flush valve so things move quickly. It was pricey, but our best option for long-term relaxing and enjoyment.
Another couple of hours and I had it installed and working by 12:45am. It’s a huge, beautiful thing compared to the old piece of junk. The flushing sequence is quick and fast — you press the lever and there’s a Whooosh–GLUGUGUG! and that’s it. Done. Everything you can think to deposit in that bowl gets whisked away to the great sewer in the sky in about a second. It is very impressive, and I don’t get a kick out of a bog very often.
Below you can see the pictures of our adventure. And yes, I really did throw the old toilet out of the 2nd-story window. It was damned fun and highly recommended entertainment.
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- Taking the Tank Off
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- Old Tank Parts — Well Past Their Prime
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- Tossing the Toilet Tank Out the Window
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- The Toilet Tank in a Snowbank
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- The Multitude of Previous Bathroom Colors
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- Unbolting the Toilet Base
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- Removing the Toilet Seat
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- Draining the Base in the Bathtub
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- Tossing the Toilet Base Out the Window
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- The Toilet Parts in the Snowbank
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- The Rotten Flooring under the Base
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- Keston Helping with His Shovel
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- Keston Watching Daddy
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- Keston Helping with Wrenches
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- After Digging Out the Rot
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- Dad Opening the Hole with a Saw
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- Exposing the Floor Joists
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- Wayne Pralle: Circular Saw Artist Extraordinaire
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- The Repaired Flooring
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- New Toilet Base Installed
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- New Toilet Tank Installed
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- Beautiful New Toilet
What, no pic of you ON the throne??
Well, now that you suggest it….:)
I’m really digging the fancy green tempera-looking paint job. Looks like they let the kids paint the place at some point.
Also, very interesting post. My house is old and I’m afraid there will come a day when I will have to do the exact same thing, especially with the floor. How do you know how to line up the toilet with the drain? I’m sure it sits right in there..but I’d be afraid it would be only partially on
my goodness imagine if the whole loo came through the roof while you were sitting on it??
I think it’s a good investment seeing how much time you say you spend in the bathroom!
What a good little helper Keston was! He is on his way to turning out just as geeky and handy as his father!
Nah, the loo wouldn’t have fallen through — there’s some hefty (non-rotten) joists in between the pooper and the kitchen, thankfully, but it very well might have tipped over in the middle of the night which would have been exciting for a bit, at least. Yeah, it’s much more comfy for long-term sitting.
Keston was SO upset that he couldn’t be right there in the action (we took him away when it got really messy and Grandpa was there helping). He was walking around the living room with his little hammer, banging things. He’s so bloody cute.
An incredible job of photo journalism and a very smart looking repair job as well. Are you and your father available for remodels? That tub your wife liked so well at my house needs to become a shower this year.
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Yeah, Dad and I do odd jobs on the side, but I can’t say that shower installations are our forte. We’re really good at roofs! But we could see…depends on how fancy you want to get. Gold leaf makes me nervous.
The image of one of you sitting there and having it fall through has me sitting here laughing. ha. Nice job, Mr. Fix-it.
Courtneys last blog post..Book Review: Who By Fire, by Diana Spechler
“To my rescue came my father, Wayne, who graciously dropped whatever he was going to do that evening and came over with his tools to help me figure out the best way to redo the flooring since it had rotten out all around the base of the toilet.”
I have a dad like that, too. It’s great, and I’d feel bad about all the help he gives me if he didn’t revel so much in demonstrating that I don’t know shit about shit (trying to stay on topic here).
Yeah, our Dad is pretty great!! He dropped whatever he was going to do Sunday afternoon to come into my house and make my defunct garage door work properly…which of course it does…better than ever. He ROCKS!!!