Despite all the crap I’ve experienced before, occasionally there’s still someone with the sheer nerve to set me back on my heels. Monday night was one of those experiences.
My wife, my friend Brett, and I had decided to grab some much-needed sustenance after barbershop rehearsal, so we headed to the local Perkins restaurant in Mason City which serves a dearth of both evening-type foods and breakfast goodies around the clock.
As we walk in, we notice that it’s rather bare, but that’s not too surprising at 10:50pm, so we hang out at the counter for a bit. The waitress comes trotting up with a look of disgust on her face.
“We close in 10 minutes.” What? Not even a, ‘hello’ or ‘Welcome to Perkins’? Ooooookaaaaay….
“So, we can’t get any food?”
“Well, yeah, for the next 10 minutes.” As her facial expression is screaming, ‘Please, God, NO!’
“But you’ll be pissed.”
“No. It’s just that the cook has already turned off half his grill, and…” Survey says: ‘Yes, I’ll be pissed, and you’ll get completely shitty service out of me.’
“Uhm….ok.” Me flabbergasted by this point at this obvious display of, ‘Go awayness’. “I guess we’ll….uh….just leave then…” and I start wandering away towards the restrooms to collect my wife.
“Well, you can stay and order something, but only for the next 10 minutes.” Half-hearted attempt at, ‘Maybe I’ve fucked up here.’
By this time, I’m in no mood to parley. “NO, that’s ok, we’re leaving.” Wife exits the restroom. “We’re leaving.” Her eyebrows shoot up. “Oh?” she says. “Yes.”
We head towards the door, and the cute blonde hostess behind the counter tries calling after us, “Really, we’re open for another 10 minutes, you can order something!”
“No,” I reply, not even turning around, “we’re clearly not wanted,” and walked out.
Incredible, isn’t it? The sheer *gall* that people have today. I understand that they close in 10 minutes, and if I come in and sit down and order something, I’m going to be 30 minutes at least, because I don’t like inhaling my food and then sprinting out. Tough shit if you’ve had a long day and don’t feel like customers staying past closing time, that’s how your business works. You don’t kick anyone ELSE out at the stroke of 11, do you? Then why are you so cranky about someone showing up at 10:50? I understand, I’ve been there, and I know what it’s like to be at the end of your day and customers just keep interrupting your plans to go home, and that sucks. But that doesn’t matter — you still have to be professional, smile, greet them, and act like they’re important, even if inside your head you are saying, “Thanks for showing up just before closing, jackass.” Absolutely unbelievable.
In the end, we decided that it wasn’t worth our time because they’d probably spit in our food anyway, so….best to go somewhere else. We caught some greasy food at Denny’s and all was ok.
Man…and all I wanted was some pancakes.
Holy cow! I can’t believe that! Actually, I can. Rudness seems to be outstripping common courtesy lately. Sad, isn’t it? My mum would have swatted my behind for speaking to someone like that. Jeepers, they’re in the freakin’ service industry! They’re supposed to provide you with a service that YOU PAY FOR.
Ugh. I’ve just gone through an experience with a bunch of nasties who didn’t like an opinion I recently expressed and they let me know – the adult way: anonymously. Seriously.
Love your blog! Ha ha funny!
oh the things that hospitality people do to stop people coming in late… ask your Wife.. we used to put the chairs up and pull the vaccume cleaner out if people wouldn’t leave
We were never allowed to do that when I worked at OG. Would have been fired. You at least say Hello! Welcome to Marie’s Awesome Place of Delights, two this evening? If they camp at the table for a while (like an hour after closing) you can politely tell them the restaurant is closed but that’s it. Usually when we vacuum or start cleaning they get the hint.
Would we hate it? Yes. Did we curse their very existence? Very much so. Did we have half the kitchen shut down, the floors washed, the grills cleaned, and our aprons untied? Oh indeed. But we had to deal with it. That’s what you get when you work in a restaurant. I never spat in my To-Go orders, even when I knew it was the Devil on Earth wanting fucking chicken alfredo and “HOT BREADSTICKS MIND YOU WITH NO SALT” 5 minutes before we close.
For me personally, I’d never go into a restaurant right before they close simply because the service sucks and usually the food does, too. But you do whatcha gotta do and sometimes I don’t care.
A bit off topic: I remember going with you guys late one time to Perkins and there were those girls there from a bachelorette party and they had penises.
I think there was ice cream too…and a drunk lady in the bathroom talking about pantyhose to me. :O Such good times!
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