I have long been intimately familiar with something that we call around here a, “corn scoop”. I would happily find you a picture, but nothing on Google even comes up with something that looks similar, so let’s suffice to say — a wide, long, deep aluminum shovel. Useful for scooping corn (imagine that) if you’re into that sort of thing, but also incredibly handy for clearing piles of snow when you have few other means to do so.
That is, until today.
Kindly feast your eyes upon this beauty of machinery and testosterone — the Murray Blizzard 27″ Snowblower:
Powered by an 8HP Tecumseh 4-cycle engine, it is to snow what a T-Rex is to brontosauri. Rip, chew, and spit 40 yards off. It has an electric start, a bunch of fun levers and cranks to shift the chute around, and a headlight. That’s right, folks, I can blow snow IN THE DARK. If that doesn’t say, “manpower”, I don’t know what does.
My father and stepmother apparently have had enough of our driveway resembling the ice planet Hoth and being barely navigable if you don’t own a snowmobile. When he heard an ad on the radio for a used snowblower in good condition, he jumped on it and I basically got a slightly late Christmas present. I could have kissed his boots, but my lips would have frozen to them in the -10F weather.
Being parents on a single income and all that jazz, something luxurious like a blower wasn’t really in our near-time budget as we have larger and more important fish to dunk in hot oil, so up until now, me and Mr. Corn Scoop have had a very good relationship, but his capabilities coupled to my arms, legs, and back have limited range and ability and I’ve kept to the minimum required for mobility given that there is some 15″ of white crap in many places around the yard.
In short order after coming over today, Dad and I hauled to it and got my entire driveway, around all cars and even the junk car, as well as a copious path to the garage, neatly cleared out. I even put ice melt on the steps — imagine! The blower does a superb job and is fun as hell to run given that I’m not doing the work. 
I’m not entirely sure how to thank my father and Amy for the gift enough because it Kicks Some Serious Ass and it’s going to be immensely useful, but I am very, very grateful.
I leave you with an image of myself having some darn good entertainment telling that stupid snow exactly where to go. Enjoy.
May you now have the experience of communing with your fellow men on a snowy morning at about 6:15 a.m.
I’d suggest voluntarily clearing the sidewalks of your blower-less neighbors. It’s so so so much easier to ask them (and your blower-ful neighbors) to clean off your walk when you’re gone if you’ve built up some cred.
AWESOME
Reminds me of a post Tim The Tool Man Taylor would write only he would soup up the blower and have the whole neighborhood ruined in minutes.
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Patrick: Yup, already did so, actually — I went and saw that my 93-year-old neighbor’s sidewalk had yet to be cleared so I went hit it while I was going along. I can’t tell you how many mornings I’ve been out there shoveling, wishing a nice neighbor would just come by and quick hit my front sidewalk with their blower, but they never did. I’m all about building up the karma.
Marie: Yup. Simply put.
Tom: I thought of that, actually — as I went along I was already thinking about how I could maybe get a better throw on the chute by greasing it or something.
Very cool, Nathan! I only wish we had a need for one over here.
It’s very nice of you to blow your neighbors
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That is a kickass unit. A man with a blower like that doesn’t need a hat in freezing weather. That’d be like a down lineman wearing a skirt.
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