The title will be somewhat misleading.

As one who only spent a mere week mucking about the hallowed halls and entrails of central NJ, I am ill-equipped to make any sort of mention about the qualities that I witnessed.

But let’s suffice to say that I found it to be….less offensive than I was bracing myself for.     In fact, for the most part, I was rather happy and enjoyed my stay.

That all being said, here are some random pics to amuse your eyestalks:

Flight travel has the unusual effect of transforming us all from our usual, day-to-day self into something entirely different, unique, and odd.    We all become actors on a very small and controlled stage, hostage to the form of travel that we have chosen and bound by the innumerable rules that revolve around it.

The airport walk:  We all adopt a certain pose, a particular swagger, especially once we have gone through the pains of the security checkpoint.    Before, we are mere citizens, lined up like sheep to the slaughter in the queue, downtrodden and dejected.   We are one of the “nots”, on the outside, the unprivileged.

After passing through the crucible that is the screening and pat-down (sighing greatly if we are one of the lucky ones to pass the requirements without a full cavity groping), we change – we become one of the elite, someone with an agenda, a place to be, a flight to catch.   We’ve endured the lash, conquered the mountain, and now we have a 2:34 to LGA to handle.

Even that phrase – “a flight to catch” – makes us all sound like athletes, as if we had to complete a rigorous triathlon and, with crossbow and camouflage, had to track down and bag the wily Boeing in its natural habitat (feeding ever so gently on Jet-A1);  a successful hunt resulting in the hours-long privilege of sitting on our ass in a very expensive, fart-soaked chair in a high-speed tin can.

So we adopt this into our attitude; we have, of course, chucked out gregarious amounts of cash to be here, we have a schedule, we’re being modern and self-reliant, following signs and rules and boarding only by zone, and generally rubbing noses with some High Tech Shit™.

We cop this all around the airport itself, navigating between people in the concourse with barely a nod or a change in facial expression, but carrying it over to the plane itself.  We regard each other gingerly, as if to say, “I have to SIT next to you, but I don’t have to necessarily ACKNOWLEDGE you.”   Nevermind the fact that while you are on a transcontinental flight and you might be thigh-to-sticky-thigh with a total stranger for 8, 10, 15 hours – a position that would normally result in several fruity drinks and music in going untz-untz-untz to achieve —  introductions are right out.

Few other places generate so vast of a cross-section of a fake humanity in such a small space, and yet it is here – day in, day out, in cities all over the world, we do our little dance next to but not with each other, just to get to a new place for little while.    (Assuming no delays.)

Now, if you don’t mind, dear regular citizens – I have a flight to catch.

This past weekend my family joined my father, my stepmother, her kids and significant others, and my sister in a fun weekend camping, sightseeing, and biking along the Root River Trail in southeast Minnesota.     Some people camped out at The Old Barn Resort a few miles out of Preston, MN, and some of us stayed at The Trail Head Inn inside Preston.     Minus the cost of the hotel room (OMG!) and the fact that our bed sheets were covered in hair and semen stains (before we arrived, thank you very much), it was a good time to be had by all.    My father cooked his famous meals over the campfire, we did some biking, poking around in Preston and Lanesboro and other towns, and generally unplugged a bit.

One of the big negatives was that Verizon appeared to be the only cellphone provider with any service up there, so my wife’s iWireless phone and my AT&T-powered iPhone were almost useless the entire time, making it incredibly hard to communicate between folks, so a lot of the time we did things by ourselves.   But on the whole that wasn’t bad, either, as it gave us time to go our own paces.

One afternoon, after riding 9.5 miles with my wife and kiddo, while they took a nap I took off for more trail riding and ended up doing about 16.5 miles along the trail going from Preston to Harmony.    I decided to take a video as I was riding to share with you the experience of it:

In short, a good weekend to unplug a bit and spend some time with family.    If you have the inclination to bike and are ever in southeastern Minnesota, I highly recommend the trails; they are all paved, the small towns are pretty and cute and full of shops, the people are uber-friendly, and the lack of technology might frustrate you but it will definitely encourage you to do something else with your time.

Air travel these days has gone from being somewhat of a royal treatment in the glory days to something that most people dread the process of due to all the complexities, varying levels of service, and unfortunate surprises from lost luggage to delays.    One of the most recent (and likely largest) bugs in people’s craws about the airline industry is baggage fees.   Most view this as the airlines attempting some extortion of travelers to make up for poor sales and crappy efficiency and the industry looks at it as a method of creating fairness as well as generating more revenue.    The fact is, done right, à la carte flying done right could make for happy airlines and passengers.

The real key to this is that travelers don’t hate à la carte; in fact, I’d wager that most people really enjoy it.   Today’s modern human likes options — that’s why McDonald’s has something on the order of 18 different meal options and some 35-40 foods to choose from.   We like menus, we like picking out exactly what we want down to the color.  (See: paint chips) People really enjoy things like Dell’s build-a-computer site where you can see exactly what options increase or decrease your purchase price based on how hefty you want to make your new machine.  Most of us really enjoy being a bit picky in our own quirky ways and making it unique.

Choices give us a sense of control and power over a situation.   We like that.

There are two aspects about the current process that really torque passengers into an angry foam:  A) surprises and B) dealing with choices and money at the time of travel.

Let’s face it — travel’s not easy.   Whether in a car or a plane, there’s plenty of hassles to deal with between you and your destination.    Remembering what to pack, how to get there, timing for meeting people or getting to your meeting, hotel and car reservations, meals, kids…the list goes on and on.   People really like getting things buttoned up beforehand and avoiding any issues on the day of travel because one thing piles on another and before you know it, you have a four-alarm fire and no water in sight.

So, along comes the airlines and tosses the ‘pay per piece of baggage’ wrench into the gears of the entire mechanism and fouls the whole damned thing up.   Instead of being able to button yourself up before traveling you’re dealing with having to whip our your wallet and toss cash or a credit card at a frazzled check-in clerk in the hopes of making your luggage problem go away.   You might have known about it ahead of time, but maybe you didn’t — perhaps you thought you were well underneath the weight limit and suddenly you’re above it and dying inside.   And all of this comes on top of pushing the clock to get through security and on your plane in the first place.   In short, it becomes your 7th level of hell in a hurry.

The Way it Should Be

À la carte has the great power to be the next revolutionary thing in air travel provided:

• you can handle all the planning and paying details at the time of booking the trip
• no unpleasant surprises greet you on Travel Day

Just imagine being able to choose all aspects of your trip for an adjustable fee!   I can think of a great number of options that people would happily pay extra for (or be happy to sacrifice for a lower ticket price):

• Comfort – pillow(s), blanket(s), eye shades, hot towels, heat pads, earplugs
• Entertainment – movies, TV shows, Internet access, on-demand video, headphones
• Meals – how many, how fancy, vegetarian, vegan, kosher, snacks
• Drinks – all-inclusive, pay-per-drink, liquor only, top-shelf
• Luggage – per piece or per weight fees, international luggage waivers, delivery to the plane door, first off the plane, personal delivery from plane to you
• Seating – options for no surrounding children, frequent flyers only, sleeping-only seats, awake-only seating, first-on plane, last-on plane
• Assistance – help boarding, ticketing, security, customs  (how many of us would pay to be expedited through?)

There are, obviously, many more options that could be had, but how great would it be to even have such choices to make?   And all it requires is a custom bar code on your boarding pass that instantly indicates what you do and don’t get and some cheap hand scanners to make it all happen.   In the end, a ticket buys you a seat on a metal tube flying from point A to point B; everything else about the experience you have a choice in and, if you choose, the option to get — for a price.

In the end, the travelers feel more in control of their experience and feel they get a better value for their money, and the airlines can better control costs, make some extra cash, and deliver an experience that matches their customers’ expectations.

What do you think?   Would you gladly welcome the “À la carte” option the next time you take flight?

This is far overdue, but back in early August I took a week-long trip to San Diego for training for work on the TrackWise QMS system developed by Sparta Systems. Each day I was in training from 8-5 under the tutelage of a wonderful professor of knowledge, Izzy, and at night I was free to wander about and take in whatever sights I could manage.

While I could write a ton about what I did, etc., I’m just going to show you some of my favorite pictures taken and let you fill in the rest with your wonderful imagination. These are all taken with my old 1.2 MP cameraphone, so I apologize in that they aren’t terribly crisp or wonderful, but I think you’ll get the idea.

The view of myself in the DEN bathroom. This is the boredom of a four and a half hour layover, but hey, where else to screw around but an airport?

The bed in the suite I stayed in on the last night, due to an overbooking at the main hotel. It was loverly. (Sheraton Suites, downtown SD)

The wash from the bay tour boat, so beautifully foamy in the afternoon sunlight. I tried not to think how deep the water actually was below us.

Fresh breaded calamari for my appetizer on the first night. Thick as fingers and digit-licking good. Well worth the $23 at the Blue Point Oyster Bar, Gaslamp Quarter, SD

A cookie from a shop at DEN; heaven in a small, squishy circle.

Cremé Bruleé — if you’ve never had one, you don’t know the true meaning of oral orgasm. I could have had twenty of them, but the beauty is that they only give you one and all the time in the world to eat it.

I got a kick out of the fact that DEN had personalized soap dispensers.

Dusk comes to the San Diego harbor, seagulls hover overhead, and jackasses in pimped-out Mustangs patrol the shore.

YO! HOMIE! Have you been out walking in the dark with your sunglasses on? This isn’t Timbuk 3 anymore, man!

The main entreé: Lobster-crusted seabass with black truffle oil. Words fail to describe properly.

At the San Diego Civic Theatre during the intermission for Phantom of the Opera, looking down on all the “Mezzanine Level” people. We balcony folk were much more refined, even if we had bloodier noses.

The Horton Plaza, an open-air mall near the Gaslamp Quarter in San Diego. Fun with all its random ramps and escalators and stairs.

What a pretty bird! Not a plane of mine, but I simply adore the machines of commercial aircraft and it’s fun to take photos of them.

The really, really long line to get checked into the United counter at SAN. Incredible…took me an hour-fifteen just to get inside.

The chandelier at the SD Civic Theatre.

Do you know how freaking tall these things are? They’re huge!

A view down the hallway of my main hotel; as you can see, all open-air. No bugs, no snow, no problem!

A view of the marina from the classroom we were in all week. Rough, eh?

The San Diego Skyline from the harbor tour boat. Pretty.

All in all, I have to say San Diego was one of the nicest major cities I have ever been in. The people were generally friendly and helpful, the city was clean and organized, the public transportation was timely, cheap, and fast, and the weather was beautiful. If there was a major city where I could see myself living, SD would definitely be on the top 5 list.