This weekend marked the end of what has been an 8-week project to renovate our living room.    It started out as a simple project of filling in a set of useless windows and repainting the place and then bloomed into this huge undertaking.     View now the list of casualties:

• filled in said 3 windows, but replaced them with a 6′x1′ transom window, complete with new header and wall
• tore down the 25′x15′ plaster-and-lath living room ceiling (messiest thing I’ve ever done in my life)
• filled 29 50-gallon garbage bags with 1,500 lbs of plaster, nails, and other debris
• blew through 8 different dust masks in the process and one pair of cargo shorts
• removed ~100′ of old knob-and-tube wiring and replaced it with ~300′ of new wiring
• used up a 100-count pack of electrical staples to hold the new wiring in place
• put in 9 recessed lights and 5 dome lights totaling 1,140 watts of new light in 2 rooms (for only 247 watts of actual electricity, thank you, CFLs)
• 6 new double-gang outlets with wiring
• 2 new 20A circuits on the panel in the basement
• new sheetrock on the ripped-out window wall and on the entire ceiling (~634 sq ft)
• applied 25 gallons and 2 sacks of drywall compound
• used up 5 rolls of Frog (green), blue, and white masking tape
• slapped 7 gallons of paint on ceilings, walls, and trim
• ripped up 600 square feet of hardwood floor in 3′ by 2″ pieces (1,200 pieces, approximately)
• pulled approximately 10,000 finish nails (at least it FELT like that many…)
• went through 1.5 rolls of insulation, a can of expanding foam, a roll of plastic, and 5 tubes of caulk to seal up errant drafts
• stapled down 16 sheets of underlayment
• rolled out 6 rolls of padding
• snapped 27 boxes (378 planks) of laminate flooring together
• air-gunned 423 feet of quarter-round trim
• troweled on a gallon of mastic, cut and squished 16 sheets of tile, and sponged on 2 gallons of grout

I’m pretty tired.

On Saturday of this weekend, two proverbial birds were stunned senseless with one fell swoop of a rock — or rather, eighteen tons of rock in the form of gravel.

“Gee, how exciting, ” you all say in unison.

Well, OK; so perhaps getting a load of rock dumped on your driveway (is that a euphemism?) isn’t anywhere close to the top on the Wonderful Orgasm Scale.    In fact, it probably sits right above taking off a pair of soiled underwear in terms of excitement.   That all being said, it’s a big event around this household, mostly because of two reasons:

#1 — I traded my old 1996 Dodge Intrepid for it, which has been sitting in a non-running state on our lawn for THREE YEARS, a time span which I thought had probably rendered it useless for anything other than wasp nests and raccoons.

#2 — Due to our driveway being mostly dirt, every rain, spring shower, or sloppy snowfall the entire thing would turn into a maze of puddles and gunky crap and general frustration.   This was a home improvement we had always hoped to do but really, when you have some spare cash, does gravel immediately come to mind?  NO.

So I traded, even up — car for new rock.    And boy is it nice.    Thanks to the awesome help of my father on Sunday, we got it spread and now it just needs a bit of tamping down during rains and driving on it to be simply great.    Below is photographic evidence thereof:

Sometimes in home repair/improvement you have to make compromises in the name of cost.

This is one of those stories.

Our kitchen sink has been, for some time, crappy at best.    It was probably white porcelain at one point in its life but had since regressed to a brownish-creamy color that no amount of bleach or acid short of Medusa spit would ever render clean again.     In addition to this attractive palette, the cast iron bowl of it was pulling away from the metal edge, resulting in a sinking sink that had to be regularly caulked on the edges and propped up from below with a 2×6 in order to keep it from simply falling out of our countertop.    Add onto this a somewhat leaky faucet and an extremely leaky drain and it was a grisly nightmare to behold.

We made do for awhile.

This past weekend I finally put my handyman foot down and said, “Forsooth, foul basin!   I shall have words with thee!” and then promptly jumped upon my horse and rode to the Temple of Menards to consult with the deities and to pick out some Real Nice Stuff™.

The theme of the day was, “Cheap x 3″ for this basic reason:   At some point or another we are going to participate in the marriage stability challenge that is complete kitchen renovation.   Cupboards, countertops, lights, ceiling, paint, knobs, the whole 9 yards.   However, we simply don’t have the funds on-hand to get into that right now, so…

• 1 stainless steel two-bowl sink — completely free via Freecycle about 2 years ago
• 1 chromed metal and plastic faucet and spray hose kit — $40
• 2 chrome drain baskets on sale — $18
• 1 PVC drain plumbing set — $7
• 2 tubes of silicone caulk — $6
• 2 packages of clips, neither of which worked — $6
• 2 braided 9″ hoses — $14
• 3 brass reducer couplings — $9
• 1 can of triple-expanding foam — $2.50

Total Spent:  $102.50

Results?    A much sexier-looking sink and a ‘bye’ on full-out kitchen renovation for a few years, at least.

View the evidence below!

For several years now I’ve been meaning to do something with the large pile of flagstone that’s been sitting out back, but never really made the effort to get something moving and in place. However, now with the advent of summertime and the presence of some cheap and willing labor (locationally-captive Aussie brother-in-law Sam), I decided it was high time to replace my old and worn wrought-iron fire-containment device with something a bit more robust and built out of good old-fashioned ROCK. Plus, it gave me the opportunity to play with the Handyman’s Playdough — CONCRETE!

To start, I used a rope attached by a slip knot to a pole to mark an inner circle; this would be the size of the inside of the pit where the fire would burn. It would then be ringed by a flagstone wall to enclose it. For the time being, I shoved a bunch of stakes (actually pieces of 1/2″ CPVC water piping I had spare) into the ground around the perimeter of the pit so I would know where my edges were. Then Sam and I manned some shovels and cleared out the sod in a ring around it approximately a foot and a half wide.

Here is Sam, proud of his digging ability (which was pretty darn good). You can see that the sod has been removed and the underlying soil leveled with some raking and hoeing.

Here is some of the flagstone that we used, but in reality we went through probably 4 times this amount.

The pile of sod after we cleared out the flange of the fire pit. At first, I was going to use it to fill in places around the lawn that were a bit…unwell…but I think the bulk will make it into the compost pile to provide inspiration to the rotting process.

Here we have fit all the flange stone into the ground ontop of a sand base to try to prevent drainage and flexing issues. Shortly after this we mixed up standard pre-mix mortar concerte mix to a slightly-more-than-sloppy consistency and used it to fill in all the spaces between the rock. The application of some fingers and shaping and it came out pretty well.

With the flange stones finished and cemented in place, we cleared out the middle of the pit to even it out and make it smooth.

We started putting stones around the inner pit circle by mortaring them to the inner part of the flange, which took a holy-hell-awful lot of mortar to get things evened out.

Sam Jacobs: He will, He will, ROCK YOU.

Three layers done! As we went, we’d leave various gaps in the wall for ventilation to the fire (air holes, that is). This actually turned out to be a really good design decision, as they look completely natural (like a natural crevice) and they helped us make some fitting decisions, where we couldn’t get some stones to line up quite right — more than once we stepped back and went, “Ok — air hole!” You can see one such hole underneath the large flat stone in the foreground.

We were fairly sloppy with the mortar as we went (you can see that evidence on this picture), but we cleaned up after we got done each day. You can also see some of the rock that we cut (far side, bright, straight line on the inner rock face) with a masonary blade on the circular saw. Usually we could just score it halfway through and then use a hammer and cold chisel to make it break along the line. This helped tremendously as we were able to adjust some stones that would have otherwise been unusable, and it’s a lot more accurate than just whacking them with a hammer and hoping for a good break.

After five layers, we had an inspector show up to check out the project. He was a pretty critical little guy, checking out the construction, the mortar, and whether it was sturdy, but in the end he gave it his seal of approval. (My son, Keston.)

Six layers of rock later, we have a finished product! It’s about a foot and a half high, give or take, and about 4.5 – 5 feet across. As it turns out from our testing last night by starting a big-ass fire in it, it’s the perfect size.

The bottom of the actual fire pit itself we lined with small chunks of broken flagstone, all of a similar thickness and shape. The idea was to keep it open so rainwater would drain away quickly and not create a “bowl” where the water would collect, but still give a firmer surface than just dirt on which to build a fire. So far, I’m terribly pleased with how this both looks and performs with a fire.

FIRE! Heh-heh…FIRE! It was, if I can use the term, a raging success.

With a bit of camera magic (slowing down the shutter speed), you can see the placement of the ring in the backyard and how it looks to human eyes that are adjusted. Fits in perfectly.

One of the ventilation holes that we purposely (or creatively) built into the wall with some glowing embers behind.

Look at those coals! Lovely, and perfect for a set of s’mores, which we gave a shot last evening and declared a perfect victory.

So that’s our new fire pit — if you’re ever in the area, you’ll have to come by and sit a spell! A HUGE thanks to the awesome and talented Sam for all his help!

A new gas range, that is!   Our old one, after 30 years of service, finally blew the bottom baking coil the other night when my wife was trying to bake a scrumptious white pizza she made.   After an hour the temp was still at 225 F, so we knew it wasn’t going to be helping us out anymore.

While, yes, we could have repaired that coil (new ones are about $65 + the time to install it), we knew we’d need a new range sooner than later and it seemed to be rather prophetic, so we took the hint, went to Menards, and got a Whirlpool model WFG361LV in “silver” which means half silver, half black.

AND IT’S GAS!    Glory and trumpets!    I’ve lusted after gas stoves ever since I found out how nice they are to cook with vs. electric and have always said some day I’d get one.    Despite my wife’s trepidations about learning to cook on a gas appliance, I encouraged her and finally won her heart in the matter and we got the shiny beast with the help of my father and hooked her up 2 nights ago.

And boy, what a difference!    Like I had mentioned to Yolanda, anything newer than 30 years old would be an improvement, but this is a huge difference.   Even, gentle cooking, no harsh or weird temperatures, and the instant-on, instant-off wonders of gas.    I haven’t really done much cooking with it yet, but the pizzas tonight turned out wonderfully, and that’s a good starter.

Hopefully the next time we replace a major appliance it will be because we’ve decided to do so versus being forced, but in this case, I think it’s turned out to be a win-win all around.