Last Monday I had the opportunity to go view the barbershop singing documentary, American Harmony, at the newly-restored Northwood Theatre in Northwood, IA, and then afterward head a block down the street to the Worth Brewing Company, whose clever slogan is, “If It’s Not Hand Crafted, It’s Not Worth Brewing.”    With the sweet chords of barbershop ringing through my head, I was eager to sit down for a brew with a few with my fellow singing enthusiasts and grab some droughts.

Worth Brewing (@WorthBrewing on Twitter) is situated in the middle of a block of downtown Northwood, an idyllic small-town stop only 7 miles to the east of Interstate 35 located so far north in Iowa that if you sneeze, Minnesota feels the breeze.   Despite the economic times hurting small business owners across the country, Northwood seems to be holding its own in terms of a good selection of small shops and services lining the streets.

The brewery takes its name from the county, Worth, and is owned and run by husband-and-wife team Peter Ausenhus and Margaret Bishop.   Peter has been known for years to be a famous brewmaster and beer judge, winning many contests and working professionally with the well-respected Summit Brewing Company of St. Paul, MN  (one of my top-10 favorite brew companies, hands-down).     Now he is handily carving himself out a niche in pretty Northwood and making a good job of it, too.

From the men's room door...

The tap room itself is only open three days a week but offers its patrons a beautiful, cozy, dark hardwood-lined room with plentiful yet simple wood tables and chairs and a big screen TV from which to catch a game or the news.    The lighting is subdued and calming and the environment is very welcoming and comfortable.    I did not get a chance to talk to either of the owners due to the busy nature of the evening, but they appeared friendly and service was quick and easy.

Brews that I had were in the $3.10 to $3.75 range for a pint which seemed fairly reasonable, although perhaps a bit on the high side depending on which beer you had.   But given that a comparable beer in any store would run you at least in the $1.75 to $2 range it didn’t seem too terrible given the quality and presentation.    Growlers were $12 for any selection on the current menu.

Had I had the time and a place to crawl to and sleep, I would have happily tried everything on the menu; alas, being that I live an hour south of Northwood, I only had the time and liver to try three selections:

Oatmeal Stout — Because I am such a huge lover of dark and thick beers, my first selection was this oh-so-typical stout, arriving in my glass with a healthy head and lovely color.    The nose of it was warm and inviting, hinting perfectly on the edge of roasted grain mixed with just the right amount of hop to balance.   The mouthfeel was soft and creamy but not so think that you would mistake it for a shake.   The flavors mixed very well, the dark malty wintery barley being controlled but not killed by the hops.    If I had twenty of these beers in a row, they would be twenty too few.   By far my favorite selection on the menu.

Dillon Clock Stopper – Next over my tongue was this lager that didn’t really win me over in any categories and yet was nonetheless pleasant.   Light and flavorful, it had a very sweet kick aftertaste that set me off from the first swallow and distracted me through most of the glass.   That being said, it was light enough to keep the sweet from being a downtrodden effect and I did enjoy the glass, but I guess I was looking for more hop-offset than what I got.   There are a great many people out there, however, that would adore this beer if you don’t like straight-up bitter hops.

I.P.A.

India Pale Ale – The last beer to grace my throat was the IPA.   Having been through a rigourous course in IPAs, courtesy of my former collegiate roommates, I’ve had a few and a few more and then a few gallons more IPA in my life and can work my way around the room with one, if you get my drift.    Worth’s version of this brewing standard was a pleasant surprise; it’s so easy to get these zippy ales wrong and they successfully dodged the bullet.   Strong in hops with a nice biting aftertaste, the Worth IPA was simply a lovely glass of beer to drink.   I would have easily gone for more hoppy but it had a great balance and I really can’t complain at all.

Conclusion

So there you have it — Worth Brewing Company in a nutshell.   All in all, if you have the time to stop by and enjoy their warm atmosphere, happy customers, and worthwhile brews, I highly recommend it.   It’s only 7 miles from the Interstate and if you come early enough, you can enjoy some of the (seemingly) plentiful downtown shopping.   If you come later, stop in at the Northwood Theatre which has been restored to near-perfect moviewatching conditions and is a great place to catch a show.   Neither its screen nor the bubbly liquid happiness that awaits you just a block away will leave you disappointed.

Worth Brewing Company
826 Central Ave.
Northwood, IA 50459
641-324-9899

www.worthbrewing.com

Wednesday 5-9pm; Friday 5-11pm, Saturday Noon to 11pm

What the hell is up with “lite” sour cream, would someone please tell me?

I am a huge fan of sour cream and this was such an incredible lack of judgment on my part, I just have to share — to warn and advise.   Mostly to warn.   Strenuously.

Like many of you, I try to be conscious of what’s sliding down my gullet and I’m all about choosing products that are lower in fat, salt, sugar, and anything else determined to be cancer, heart-attack, stroke, or stupid-causing.   I will happily defend my consumption of diet pop, I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter (really — it’s not that much of a stretch), and low-salt gravy not in the name of them being exactly like the original products, but close enough proximity that the sacrifice of flavor is more than made up by not coating my insides with lard and corn syrup on a daily basis.

Not so much luck with Lite Sour Cream.

I don’t know why I picked it up — I guess I saw the label, like above, and figured that whatever was lost in the pursuit of something that doesn’t stick to your hips as readily would be acceptable.   Boy, was I mistaken.

Have you SEEN lite sour cream?   It looks like a plastic bucket of cold whale spooge and has the consistency of snot.     Immediately upon opening it up I checked the label to make sure I didn’t accidentally stop by the “Spawn Your Own Salmon” department instead of the dairy case.   I was dubious about it crawling out and throttling me as I stood there, let alone trying to flavor my baked potato.

But looks aren’t everything and one shouldn’t judge a book by its…gelatinous appearance…so I proceeded to slop it onto my baked tubers and give it a shot.    To say that it invokes a gag reflex is being kind and gentle, I assure you.

Whether or not it has any flavor besides “disgusting mess” is hard to determine as your tongue backs away from it in a damned hurry.   What little made it down my throat before I decided that starving sounded better had a strong essence of moose spit and rubbing alcohol.   I’m unsure whether or not there is actually any, “cream”, inside and if there is, I’m probably better off not knowing what sort of cream it really is.

Let’s not kid ourselves — sour cream is one of man’s finer culinary creations, right up there with butter, but it’s horrifically hard on your body, what with a ton of fat, calories, and so forth.    But my god it’s tasty and goes perfectly well smothered ontop of any number of food items.     So why wouldn’t we look for something that’s a bit easier on the paunch yet still gets the point across?   I understand the motivation at least.

Lite sour cream, however, is not the answer, unless you are so sadistic that you enjoy self-torture with food products.   Clearly this is one area where a healthier alternative has not been achieved and we would all do better to simply use the real thing in moderation or shrug and ladle on great globs of its creamy, sour whiteness with glee and screw the consequences.

Whatever the outcome, I guarantee you’ll be happier than if you had used something lite-er.

What a deal!

I went on a coupon shopping trip today.   I armed myself with a fistful of carefully prepared bargains, braced myself for the inevitable waves of dirty miscreants, and entered Wal-Mart with one intention in mind: Savings!

A great deal of you probably have your hands out right now, demanding that I hand my Man Card back in to be unceremoniously recycled into confetti, but hear me out!   Times have changed, technology has progressed, and this ain’t your grandmother’s coupon book anymore.

I can also hear a whole bunch of you saying, “Geez, man, where have you been?   This is old news!”   (Yes, I’m looking at you, Stacey.   Don’t piss me off, lady, I got yer number. So I’m not the first to discover this underutilized resource — shoot me — but suffer me for a moment while I expound on it, eh?

To alleviate the fears of those out there who now envision me, curls in hair, stockings over leggings, smokin’ a Marly and pushing a wobbly cart through the bra section of Wallyworld, let me paint for you the picture I’ve developed for myself on how to do this ‘coupon thing’ and still retain your masculinity in a soccer mom world –

Nathan’s No B.S. Coupon Policy

1.   Don’t screw around trying to get the damned things. — It used to be that in order to come across a plethora of good coupons and deals, the person responsible for the weekly trips to Hell would have to sit for hours at a table, armed with Fiskars, pouring over the Sunday paper and every one in between just to glean a few crappy, “30¢ off a sloppy-beef tostada” coupons before collapsing into a heap and promising to get together with neighbors the next day to swap collections.

These days, a computer, a printer, and a sense of, ‘ah ha!’ is about all you need to successfully make it in the coupon world.  Sites like The Krazy Coupon Lady, Coupons.com, Smartsource, and others make finding and printing these things a cinch. It’s so easy it’s guaranteed you’ll spend more time searching for female celebrities in thin shirts and cold weather than you will for your weekly grocery-run.    Time is money and/or sitting on your ass drinking beer and watching tube.   Keep it in perspective and exploit the tech.

2.  Not every thing that claims it’s a deal really IS a deal. — I don’t mess around with anything less than 50¢ off and it’d better be pretty specific or cheap if I go below $1.   Anything less and I’ve just burned up my time, energy, gas, toner, and sanity trying to squeeze a penny.    Using a coupon on a brand-name item to bring it down to a price that’s still above a comparable generic is also stupid — you’re NOT saving money, you’re just blowing less of it.   Repeat after me, “Most Coupons Are Not Worth It”.   The one part of this that actually does take some work involves winnowing out the chaff and picking out the really sweet, wheat deals that you can be proud of.   But that’s kinda fun.

3.  Having to buy multiples to just use a coupon is almost always a lose-lose. — Sometimes you can make this work to your advantage, but you have to do the math.   For instance, tonight I used a, “Buy 4, get 75¢ off” on some cans that were 60 cents each, so that’s a good deal, and it’s something we use all the time.   But most of the time, once you add in the amount of money you have to spend FIRST to get the item, especially if you won’t use it or won’t use it much, it’s a screw.

4.  Buying stupid, worthless crap because of a coupon is idiotic. — Occasionally I’ll buy something I wouldn’t have normally or upgrade from generic to brand name if I have a coupon, but it’s almost always a trap.   You don’t like kumquats, you wouldn’t have the first faint idea on what to DO with a kumquat, so why waste the $4 just because you have a 2-for-1 coupon?  Don’t be a moron.   Buy what you normally buy and wait for the coupons to appear for those things.

5.  Be Thee Armed and Prepared.  — When you enter the store, have your weapons (coupons) organized by section and ready to check.   Don’t screw around with walking up and down the aisles, seeing what else is on sale — remember, you’re here on a mission.   Avoid distraction.    Don’t spend too much time — if the deal isn’t apparent, move on.   If you have to do calculus to figure out your savings, ditch it.   Be cutthroat and ruthless.

6.  No matter what, coupons are still Marketing; Caveat Emptor. – Remember that stores and manufacturer’s aren’t doing this out of the goodness of their heart.    They are out to get you to buy in some form, fashion, or otherwise, so keep your thinking cap on and your gun cocked because you never know when they’ll try to get sneaky.   You can game the system to your advantage, but you have to stay alert — saving $15 on your bill when you’ve just bought $300 worth of shit means you still paid out $285 for a cartload of crap.   Don’t be a dumbass.

In conclusion, you CAN be a man and still use coupons successfully and without feeling like you’re entering into a world of Better Homes and Garbage.   While printing and cutting out coupons hasn’t made me rich, allowed me to afford a yacht, or paved the way to get laid by a girl made entirely of breasts, it has enabled me to shave off some money on regular items we get and that feels pretty damned good at the end of the register, and when was the last time a bill total made you feel good?