6th March 2010
I Have a Morning Erection!

Today the world of blogging takes me on a road trip over to Morning Erection, the blog of a guy named Tom who is a very talented writer and (obviously) loves an intriguing topic of conversation.

Nathan Pralle, Guest Blogger on Time

Please head on over to check out my guest post on the subject of Time and how it’s getting a bit too accurate !!and while you’re there, check out a few of Tom’s other great postings on various topics!


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23rd December 2009
A Real Time Wish

Dear Reader,

A wish — an invocation — a blessing;

To all of you at this holiday season, with adoration:

I could wish for many outlandish, pricey, or grandiose things this holiday — most are certified loads of hogwash; idle fantasies that we toy with to amuse ourselves and dig ourselves out of our miserable existence.    They are difficult if not impossible to achieve.   Scores desire, many try, most fail.

There is one thing, however, that I have observed and it is so incredibly fulfilling and truly awe-inspiring that I wish it to each of you ever so much:

Real Time

Our daily lives are inundated with piles of mental requirements and “multitasking” is the key word to much employment these days.    Whether it is juggling departmental projects, remembering to pick up the milk, or to shut the door to the basement so your toddler doesn’t bounce down the stairs, we are always thinking ahead, planning our moves, strategically shuffling the chess pieces of our lives to ensure the best of outcomes.

Suffice it to say, we don’t spend a lot of time observing the current moment because we’re distracted by thinking ahead.   And most of that’s good, but it can be overwhelming at times, and most importantly, we can miss things.

Real things.

In Real Time.

Think not that Real Time is what you are sold on Hallmark commercials and jewelry sales.    It is not the eggnog and the mistletoe, the Christmas turkey or the shining menorah.  You cannot be sold a moment of bliss.

Real time is not simply appreciating what you have now.   It is not “taking a moment” or “slowing down” to observe the holidays.    “Peace on Earth” doesn’t capture its unique nature.    Hallelujahs do not hold the key to this phenomenon.   It is not necessarily found in a manger.

It is a unique form of momentary existence that is rare, hard to achieve, and precious to behold.   It is the elusive diamond in the rough, the unexpected treasure, the gift that gives only fleetingly yet lingers for a thousand times more.

You cannot work for it — indeed, doing so chases it away, and you cannot plan for it, carving out a spot on your calendar.    Real Time comes when it warrants and stays as it pleases and whisks away just as quickly.    And if you don’t realize what it is, you’ll miss it, too.

Real Time is when all the pre-planning, preparation, and foresight vanish from your mind; not simply on the back burner, but gone from existence.   All the multiple layers of multi-tasking collapse and flatten into a silky smooth pool of thought.   The balls you are juggling fall sharply to the floor and disappear.   You are left, for only a moment — nay, a second — with a clean slate; a bare tablet and freshly-sharpened pencil for which to cherish life.   You have nothing to prepare, nothing to plan, nothing to anticipate.    You simply ARE for that moment in time.   Real Time.

It is — without question — incredible.

For once there are no demands, no pressures, no influences.   Jumbled thoughts disappear into the ether — analysis goes away.    All faculties are suddenly finely tuned towards the exact happenings right in front of you and absolutely nowhere else.    All that horsepower hitched to one single, colorful cart is simply overwhelming in its intensity.

We are not wired for such a state.    Humans are not programmed to stay at a rest, un-touched by the outside, all resources focused so narrowly, so Real Time does not linger.   It will leave no instructions, no calling card, no evidence that it came.

But you’ll know.    You will know afterwards that what you had was a moment in your life so brief you couldn’t possibly tie it to something so large and arbitrary as a calendar or clock or describe it in terms so harsh and garish as clichés or epitaphs, but it was there, and you were, too.   For once you were completely and totally there and nowhere else.

Real time can be anywhere and can be triggered by anything, but unsurprisingly it often happens most frequently when we do those things that connect us and ground us and centre us — the smell of your child’s skin, the depth of your lover’s eyes, the silence of a soft snowfall, the twinkle of a candle.   You cannot search for it; Real Time caters to none.   But it lurks in that which means most to each of us.

May you find a few, unexpected, surprising,  but sparkling moments of Real Time this holiday season, and may they warm your heart for a long, long time to come.

From all of mine to all of yours, the best of repasts.

Nathan, Yolanda, and Keston


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8th June 2008
A Flood of Adventure

About 9:30 this morning, as I was slumbering peacefully in my bed and awaiting the next cries of my son to prompt my attention, my father rang me on my cellphone. Since I’m on call for work this entire weekend, I had it right by the bed. The theme from Super Mario Brothers I wangled away as I struggled to locate said communications device, punch the appropriate button, and slap it to my ear.

“Yeah?” I said, groggily.

“You folks still there in one piece?” he asked. “Sure,” I replied, “why wouldn’t we be?”

Turns out it had rained quite a bit in the night and since the ground and assorted bodies of water are already sufficiently filled, it had proceeded to flood out quite a lot of places, including his basement. I trotted downstairs and checked out the scene, prancing about the house in my skivvies, until I was reasonably assured that nothing was overly wet and/or missing.

I was just looking up local weather and news when he called again. “They said on the radio that they are evacuating the nursing home and want volunteers to help. You might want to go help your grandma.”

I blinked. “Gotcha…I’ll toss on some clothes and get moving.” I grabbed myself a quick bowl of some generic cereal and headed to the shower, got primped in my best “dirties”, grabbed my shitkickers, and headed out the door.

Upon driving to the end of main street, I was stopped by a familiar face in a fireman’s uniform. “Hey, Jeff,” I said out the window. He asked where I was going, and I indicated that I had heard that they needed help. “Sure,” he replied, “but go to the high school; they’ll shuttle you down there, we don’t have room for all the cars.”

Upon parking and jumping onto the fire equipment truck with a bunch of other folks from around town, we headed on down. The sight that greeted me was impressive; water in every direction up to and starting to flow over the driveways of the nursing home, trucks, piles of sand, sandbags, and lots of people. This was going to be interesting.

The residents, as it turns out, were already evacuated to Ridgestone Golf Course, a local club with a rather sizable restaurant space. I smiled as I imagined my grandmother sitting up at the bar and ordering a cold one.

So, instead I busied myself by jumping in on the sandbagging, helping to offload bucketloads of completed bags and forming a chain of sandbags in a ring around the structure three deep. Three hours and some 1,500 bags later, we were not only done with the barrier for the care center but managed to fill the better part of the back of a dump truck with bags as well in preparation for coming weather. Dirty, soaked to the bone (it didn’t fail to piss down rain while we were working, of course), tired, but happily so, I headed back to my car and then home to shower and spend the rest of the day relaxing and getting minor things done.

Later in the afternoon, after most of the excitement had let off, we went for a small drive and collected a lot of pictures of the flooding. I post them below for your general enjoyment and amusement.

I’ve never really been involved in any sort of emergency assistance/recovery/prevention/whatever and I have to say that today was a wonderful experience, even given the circumstances. Seeing people from all sorts of statuses, creeds, backgrounds, and experiences come together simply because they were a community and, by god, we were not about to let a staple institution of our town get destroyed was nothing less than inspirational. It made me have some brief hope for humanity in general by seeing what a small but organized effort could accomplish given the opportunity.

Now — on to the pictures! (remember, you can click on the thumbnail to make them bigger)



The sidewalk leading north from our street to the city swimming pool park, and the poor schmuck’s backyard that suffered as well.



I don’t think this guy will be mowing lawn very soon.



This was, at one point, a corn field. I doubt the viability of it now.



This is an empty lot and in the background, Sukup Manufacturing, which also flooded out somewhat.



On Gilman Street (C-13) headed east and our first glimpse at the care center and the line of sandbags on the west side.



Care Center South Side and Sandbag Line
The south side of the care center and its front lawn, deeply under water. You can clearly see the sandbag line here. I didn’t personally work on this side; I was on the crew on the reverse (north) side, but the idea is the same. It’s not really rocket science — sand, in a bag, stacked. Kinda self-explanatory.



East Care Center Driveway and Sandbag Line
The eastern driveway into the nursing home and the east ditch. The brown gunk is floating, rotting corn stalks from last year; the water there is about 3′ deep at the bottom of the ditch and, as you can see, is already flowing over the concrete. You can also see the pile of reserve sandbags in the background by the line. We left several such piles in the case that something broke and/or had to be bolstered.



Looking Across the Vet Clinic\'s Parking Lot
The parking lot of the Sheffield Vet Clinic, looking north.



Looking north along Highway 65, across Gilman Street.



Looking south along Hwy 65.



The pumps at Casey’s General Store (NE side under water) and the intersection of Gilman and Hwy 65, ditches full.



The north ditch by Hwy 65. The water here is probably 3′ deep at least.



The massive amount of suction at one of two culverts attempting to empty the ditch as fast as possible. The culverts are about a foot wide at the intake and I’ll bet the suction would rip the hair right off your leg or worse.



The output of the culvert above and the southern ditch. Given the speed of the water rushing through, you suddenly realize that this is a A Lot Of Water.



Looking west along Gilman Street and the south side of the Vet Clinic, ditch full and getting worse.



The front of the Vet Clinic. Hope those doggies remembered their boots!



A very wet, muddy, sandy, tired, but satisfied me after the adventure in the morning. Why is it that sand can get into the deepest of crevices with little or no effort? Yike!


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