11th January 2010
Showing Your Privates

Exposing yourself to the world at large is now a wholly easier experience given the multitude of social networking and publishing sites and tools we have available at our fingertips.    Catching up on the neighborhood gossip or seeing how that old girlfriend is doing (and if she’s put on weight) is now as easy as stalking her on Facebook and we find out all sorts of interesting tidbits about people from their Twitter feeds.     Got something intimate to say?  Why not post it on your blog so lots of people can weigh in?

Mark Zuckerberg, founder and CEO of Facebook, was recently interviewed by TechCrunch and one of the questions was about privacy and what people were willing to post online today versus when Facebook first started.   He said he views Facebook as needing to be at the leading edge of the social norm for what was considered, “private”, and to make innovations to match stride with the way people are changing their online personas and information.    He also said that the social norm has shifted and the mainstream no longer thinks of privacy as something as important anymore.

Older generations seem to have huge issues with privacy and keeping identifications and information under wraps; I have almost none of this.   Do you want to know my underwear size?   I’ll tell you.   What do I care?   Ultimately it doesn’t matter.    If that’s going to be the deciding factor on what you think about me, then so be it, we might as well get that out right now.    I just don’t see what the point is of keeping about 98% of what we have traditionally kept private as…private.

Sure, there’s plenty of things I don’t discuss with others.   I don’t talk about the things that only pass between myself and my wife and don’t belong in anyone else’s ears.   I don’t talk about family issues with just anyone.   I don’t talk about my job because I like being employed and I prefer to stay that way.

There are tons of things, however, that people get tied up about that just seem nonsense to me.    Where you work, where you went to school, what clothes you wear, what religion you have, what political party you belong to, what you do in your spare time.    What’s the point of keeping all this under wraps?

Maybe I’m just naturally trusting and open.    Maybe I have an innate sense of when to open my mouth and when to just listen.    I see the revealing of myself through the various channels available as being something inspiring and connecting.   Maybe I’m just a dolt.

Folks, what’s your take on privacy and where we are these days?   Do you feel like you are becoming less private and more open, or do you guard yourself tighter given the environment today?    Do you think this trend is good, bad, or indifferent?


There are currently 9 responses to “Showing Your Privates”

  1. 1 Becky AllynNo Gravatar UNITED STATES (10 comments) said:

    I thought similarly to you at first. Then I thought some more.

    So I’m a manager. I have some input into who we hire, lots of input into who we fire, and write the performance evaluations for all employees on my team. Say I get curious and look up an employee on Facebook–assuming Facebook decides to significantly reduce privacy options–and see information about said employee’s religious or political view points. And say I find them abhorrent. Can I really keep that information out of my head when I’m evaluating that person? I’d like to think I could, but if someone is actively campaigning to keep rights from others or some such, I can’t honestly say that I can.

    That person should be able to connect with their friends and honestly talk about what they believe without the fear that someone will see that and then fire them.

    One solution is for me to not be so damn nosy and look my employees up on the internet. And I don’t. But I could.

    And this is a scenario where the person accessing the private information doesn’t want to use it against them. Put this in the hands of folks with less scruples and folks are getting discriminated against intentionally.

  2. 2 Stacey ThomasNo Gravatar UNITED STATES (39 comments) said:

    I only put out there what I want complete strangers to know. That’s not my whole life story. I like to leave enough mystery that if someone meets me in person, they have something unique to take away from the experience. I will *not* tell you my underwear size. Are you kidding? LOL absolutely not. But I will tell you how to make a really good pizza crust;)

    The very fact that I put pictures of my life on my blog is crazy to some people…concerns about stalkers, pedophiles, etc. I don’t worry about those extremely slim to none chance things. But pics are about as far as I want to go in revealing my life.
    Stacey Thomas´s last blog ..A Sweet Friendship Mini Printable Kit My ComLuv Profile

  3. 3 WayneNo Gravatar UNITED STATES (2 comments) said:

    Maybe I am old fashion, I read about other people that I have connected as friends but I only choose those that I am interested in and not everybody under the sun. I don’t believe and don’t tell that much about who I am or what I am doing cause I don’t believe its the world to know. If you want to know something about me, ask me, because you are sincerely interested in me and my life and not because you are nosey and want to know everything about everybody but don’t really care about anyone.If you are a friend on facebook with me than I consider you to be a friend and willing to share what is going on in my life but I don’t believe it is for the whole world to know cause I am sure the whole world don’t really care.

  4. 4 Tom BakerNo Gravatar UNITED STATES (11 comments) said:

    I think the younger generation doesn’t realize what they do online will last an eternity. They might miss out on jobs. They might have their identity stolen. Some teens might find themselves on a sexual predator list for posting nude photos of themself.

    The theory of anonymity is false. Then again for those who really are an open book in real life, I guess there is nothing to hide. Makes you wonder what things will be like in the near future.
    Tom Baker´s last blog ..For Us Ignorant Male Members of Facebook My ComLuv Profile

  5. 5 nicheplayerNo Gravatar UNITED STATES (130 comments) said:

    My old lady and I got into it (again) the other day about how she has to read our blog to find out what I’m thinking. It’s only a mild exaggeration. But I think better when I write. And I don’t want the contents of my thoughts to necessarily spur a conversation. Sometimes they just need to be written and left. I undoubtedly end up spilling lots of stuff that no one cares about or even wants to read, but I’m much more comfortable spilling those personal details than I am, say, my online banking password.
    nicheplayer´s last blog ..Happy Birthday, Gramary My ComLuv Profile

  6. 6 YuukiNo Gravatar AUSTRALIA (1 comments) said:

    I think social networking sites like Facebook are double-edged swords; stare the other way and you might cut your heart open for the whole world to see. I still think privacy is an important thing but then again, I’m not really one to broadcast the happenings in my life. A video cam and Youtube would suit that purpose better. :)
    Still, catharsis is good for the soul and I find that a good way of removing all the emotional junk is dumping them into cyberspace – in a twisted and mangled version, of course.
    Yuuki´s last blog ..All the things he said My ComLuv Profile

  7. 7 MarieNo Gravatar (116 comments) said:

    I feel okay enough sharing stuff on FB because all of my things are private and I know who sees them. I also am smart enough to not say anything bad about my job on FB or join any FB groups pertaining to my job. Twitter is private so it’s a different matter. None of my coworkers are on there and no one can read it but my friends and they’re harmless. I’ll probably have to get rid of these things when I’m searching for a career. Even if it’s all private, I think if a state or county employer sees that I even have one will have a negative effect on a first impression.
    Unfortunately, I know first-hand how having open info on the internet can harm job opportunities. I didn’t get hired back at Mackinac because I left my LiveJournal open (stupid stupid stupid) and I had called the museum director some well-deserved, but foul names. The director of museum programs personally emailed me and told me that the opinions reflected in my LJ did not match MSHP’s values and desires. Since then (this was like, 5 years ago) I have done my best to be careful about job-related info. Lesson learned. :P

  8. 8 Rachel VNo Gravatar (13 comments) said:

    I tend to share more about my kids than myself. There are lots of things that I would love to post, just to get it out, but then I’d have to start up a blog and have it be anonymous. I try not to put too many identifying things about my family on the blog, but let’s face it, if someone wanted to find us, they could. It’s easy nowadays to locate people online and find out all kinds of stuff about them.

    As far as facebook, I don’t have one. There are many in my family that do, and I’m sometimes amazed at what they choose to share. In fact, I have found it’s a way for some to boost themselves up and give others a false sense of who they really are. It’s just weird.

    My bro-inlaw had taken leave from work for “mental issues”. But yet, he continued posting on his open facebook about his Disneyworld trip and his many nights of partying. Go figure.
    Rachel V´s last blog ..25, Barb and 40 My ComLuv Profile

  9. 9 Nathan PralleNo Gravatar (151 comments) said:

    Wow, some great conversations here, folks…thanks. Here’s some responses:

    Becky: I would say that as a manager, you are obligated to ignore your employees’ personal lives and concentrate only upon their professional performance, no matter what their outside personal opinions might be. You’re quite right, in less-than-scrupulous hands, this can (and does) lead to discrimination, but I hope to never work for a business that supports (or doesn’t curtail) such behavior. For the record, my business not only knows that I have an online presence, but they have visited my websites and read the content (I watched the logs) and they have no issues with it whatsoever. My managers are adamant that whatever happens outside work is to remain there and not be taken into account with my job, which I am very happy about. That being said, I make it a policy not to violate that policy by not mentioning any details of my job in online forums. It works out well.

    Stacey: But the question is — why? Why be so secretive? I don’t deny you your right to do so, certainly not; however, what would it really matter to me — to anyone — if you posted something as personal as your underwear size on your blog (for instance)? Some things DO matter, I figure — those things that pass between my wife and I that are known only to us, financial details, etc. — but sizes? Preferences? Opinions? Most of those I consider won’t be — can’t be — used against me, at least not by anyone that matters. It’s not like I’m a celebrity, if people really want to know, what the hell, eh? :)

    Wayne: Well, we’ve had this conversation before, so I know your opinions on it, I guess. I figure a lot of your feelings on it also have to do with the fact that you are an intimate part of a small community where everyone and anyone makes it their business to know what everyone else is doing. Growing up in that environment can really make you look over your shoulder all the time. While I’m still somewhat a part of that, I’ve been the black sheep of the family and community for long enough simply not to care anymore for the most part.

    Tom: Quite right — while I support folks’ movement toward more openness, you’re quite right in saying that the younger generation doesn’t always fully realize the implications of what they post. They go on rants about employers, post pictures that you simply wouldn’t want everyone to see, and conduct family feuds online. One has to be SMART about how they post online, that’s for sure. That being said, it doesn’t mean you have to be a closed book to be smart.

    Nicheplayer: Your blog is quite interesting in those terms; sometimes such incredibly personal details about your life are on there, and yet the very basics about you I don’t know. In some ways, it’s a great combination because we get to see beyond all your layers and into the depths without exposing everything you are to everyone.

    Marie: It will be interesting to see what employers automatically give you demerits for having online presences and who don’t, especially when they conduct background checks and see that you have such things (as mine did to me). I think eventually it’ll be seen as being LESS desirable if you don’t have such credentials because you are less savvy and skilled.

    Rachel: You’re quite right, many people use online social networking to pump themselves up when the real story is much less glamorous. Then again, in many ways, I see this as the new tool for networking to obtain opportunities, employment, and status. In that context, pumping yourself up a bit is a very accepted methodology. The problem becomes when someone does one thing and yet posts another; eventually his real-life component will call him out and that will cancel all credibility in the long run.

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