Author’s Note: The Luther College Chips, the student-run newspaper at Luther College, my alma mater, ran a column this week about the demise of the ever-infamous “Naked Soccer” tradition which was phased out 3 years ago. The current seniors are the only ones who remember the tradition; after they pass into graduation, the memory will be only in the alumni. I wrote this piece as a comment in response to the article.

As an ‘00 alum, I am still incredibly frustrated with the disappearance of the naked soccer tradition.

I am a three-year player of said event, starting the end of my sophomore year since I had only heard about it freshman year. Each year I played several times and I have lots of good memories of the event:

I WAS DITCHED THE FIRST TIME
Running back naked into a crowd of people I didn’t readily know was a bit interesting. “Hi…you’re not Adam! Heh!” But I had a good time despite the fact.

I’VE BEEN SOBER, DRUNK, AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN
To be completely honest, totally sober is the much better way to do it as you don’t end up holding onto the grass with your *teeth* nearly as much. Plus, you can’t kick a ball nearly as easy.

I WAS THERE FOR PANCAKE NIGHT
Imagine the library lawn lit up with tons of halogen lights, tables and chairs set up caf-style, and your profs and faculty out in casual clothes, flipping pancakes, sausages, eggs, and pouring coffee and OJ whilst tons of munchy-eager people return from downtown after a good night of partying. And then — the soccer! I hope we didn’t make too many profs blush that night, but we had a great time. Breakfast and soccer — hell yes!

A GIRL AND I MET UP ON THE FIELD
We had eyed each other from afar for awhile but, once in the glory of innocence on the field and the fun of the game, we had some great comraderie. That was one of the warmest hugs I’ve ever received. (other than the fact that it was really, really cold out)

FRIENDS ANNOUNCED THEIR ENGAGEMENT WHILE I WAS STRIPPING
You can’t imagine how odd it is to be stripping off and ready to go on the field and two of your friends walk up, hand in hand, and say, “Guess what — we’re engaged!” Well, congrats, guys, but I’m going to just…uh…go now.

I’VE SUSTAINED INJURIES
– but nothing major. Remember folks: Don’t try to put boots on your feet during playing (because your toes lost feeling) and using one of the trees as a prop, because if you’re not sober, you might slip and slide down the bark — on your back. Ergh! Also, don’t go and kick a ball from one direction and meet the shin of a person kicking from the other — you’ll end up with a bruise the size of Kentucky and laughing whilst holding your throbbing leg as the guy across from you does the same.

I’VE MADE $47 DURING NAKED SOCCER
Senior year, my roommates and I lived in the Dieseth Apartment (that’s the room just before you go into the hillside entrance to Dieseth). We had a grill, a Weber to be exact, and we decided that naked soccer needed some food! So, we thawed out something like 6 lbs of ground beef, a couple of chicken breasts, and bought a few packages of hot dogs along with the buns, condiments, etc. We then trucked everything out to the lawn about 1:45am and set up shop, fired up the grill, and went to work. Oh — and we had appropriate costumes! Somehow (hee) we managed to get 4 caps and 4 aprons from our dear Caf workers and wear them that night. My roommates wore them over their clothing….I just wore the cap and apron! We sold hot dogs for $1 and burgers for $2 that night and made $47 after expenses. Mind you, some of those were given away to friends, we ate quite a few ourselves, and one or two might have been given in exchange for some drinks. But boy did we have fun!

For those who have never participated in the event, you might have mixed feelings about it. “What’s so great about playing soccer naked at night?” you might ask. Well, there’s a few reasons why it’s great and very few of them have anything to do with nudity:

TRADITION
It’s been said so many times that most people are probably sick of it, but it’s true. You’re only at Luther for four years — it’s a really short time. There’s not much that links you with the past at Luther or the future classes; things change and modify, profs come and go, classes dissolve and begin. Traditions transcend all that to link you to the college you love and the people you love as well. They let you talk for years to others about your experiences and your school.

TRUST
I don’t know about you, but I probably trust the people that I went to school with at Luther more than just about anyone else in the world. I’ve shared things with them that I hadn’t shared before and will find it hard to share again. When you’re naked and with your classmates, roommates, and friends, you are extremely vulnerable. The fact that they’re smiling and laughing and welcoming you onto the field no matter what is priceless. I remember doing an all-player huddle during senior year and there wasn’t a face that wasn’t smiling and accepting of everyone standing there in all their naked glory.

FUN. DAMMIT.
It’s just plain fun to be out playing a game and being naked. It’s rebellious and yet not; freedom at it’s best. There were few consequences of being naked that night (sans experiences with tree bark) and lots of fun to be had.

I fully realize all the circumstances that prompted the dissolution of naked soccer. And to be honest, I can appreciate many of them. Naked soccer was never meant to be hurtful. It was never meant to be a mob event with damaging activities and in the latter years, it had grown to the point where you were bound to have some things happening — 600 people? That’s just way too many to ensure complete safety. At that point, you’re bound to have a few asshats that ruin the fun for more than one person. Please understand that this activity was *mostly* attended by mature, fun-loving, and safe people. But you never hear about those.

I wish there had been another way around the issue vs. cancelling the entire event. Making it an official event wouldn’t have helped — there would have went a large portion of the fun. Plus, you’d have people fighting over who had to be “shirts”.

So, goodbye naked soccer. We loved you well. I have lots of great memories of you — the crunch of grass between my toes, the laughter ringing out across campus. the *thump* of the ball as it was kicked, the giggles as people fell into piles, smiling faces radiating acceptance, joy, and comraderie. Thanks for the good times.